Sex after giving birth

Men are particularly likely to believe this. A lot of young blokes think that they'll be able to have intercourse as soon as their partner gets home from hospital. But this just isn't true.

You see, childbirth is a pretty traumatic process for a woman. Having a baby pass through her vagina is almost like having a small explosion go off inside her.

The delicate vaginal tissues are inevitably strained, bruised and torn – and it takes some weeks for these injuries to heal up.

Furthermore, childbirth involves considerable hormone changes – as well as emotional stresses. And as a consequence, very, very few women feel rampagingly sexy until a long time after they have given birth.

Therefore, it's important for both mother and father to realise that lovemaking may not go brilliantly in the first six months or so after the baby arrives. So be prepared – and be patient!

How soon can you resume having sex?

Traditionally, midwives and doctors have advised that a woman shouldn't consider having full sex (ie intercourse) until after her postnatal check-up. This examination usually takes place about six weeks after the birth.

However, in recent years several American medical publications have pointed out that there is no real scientific basis for this 'prohibition' until sex weeks.

The idea seems to have just arisen over the centuries, and was perhaps based on the known fact that the womb takes about six weeks to return to its normal size.

But some mothers have recently stated in internet communications that they felt pretty sexy within two or three weeks of childbirth and wanted to resume. Some say that they have done so, without any ill-effects.

Others are not so sure, particularly if they are still exhausted ater giving birth. For the moment, medical advice remains that the average woman should postpone intercourse till after that six week check-up.

Even then, she may not feel ready to 'go all the way' – particularly if she has had stitches and the opening of her vagina is sore.

If you're in any doubt about whether to resume sex, ask the doctor who does your postnatal examination for advice – particularly about using additional lubrication.

Can you go in for any other sexual activity before resuming intercourse?

Yes – and it can be a good way of 'letting off steam'. Couples do often get very frustrated when they're waiting to resume sexual intercourse. This applies particularly to men!So, in the meantime, you can go in for love play – though there is one very serious danger, which we'll explain in a moment.

Breasts after childbirth?

Is it all right for the partner to handle the new mother's breasts? Yes, it's OK – provided the woman feels happy about it. But don't go in for 'boob play' if she develops any kind of breast disorder, such as a nipple crack or an abscess.

Caressing your breasts may well make you produce jets of milk. This is OK if the two of you don't mind it. But if you find it off-putting, it would be a good idea to feed your baby before having sex, in order to empty the breasts as far as possible.

What happens to the female sex drive after birth?

Most women (though there are exceptions) don't feel very keen on sex for at least a few weeks after childbirth, and the main reason for this is simply exhaustion.

If the delivery was long or difficult, the woman may also feel anxious about getting pregnant again. 

Generally, women start getting their desire back within a couple of months of having a baby. If your libido doesn't return, you should seek help from a doctor.

Sexual intercourse after the birth of your child?

When you're both ready to have intercourse after the birth, you should begin gently. If possible, try and find a time of the day when you are not too worn out. Also, try to find a time when the baby is not likely to wake up – so you can have some peace and quiet.

Hormone changes and worry can lead to some women experiencing vaginal dryness for the first three months after giving birth. But you don't take hormones for this. Instead, buy lubricants over the counter from a pharmacist Some condoms have a built-in lubricant that may help.

For the first few sex sessions after childbirth, it's a good idea to choose a position in which the woman can control the pace and depth of penetration. A position with her on top, or one where both partners lie side-by-side facing each other, may be more comfortable.

Note to male partners: be gentle and be patient. Don't try and force your way in – and do not pressure your spouse into having sex before she is ready!

High blood pressure can affect sex life

Sometimes people will discover that they have a low sex drive without realising they have high blood pressure. Blood pressure measures the rate at which blood pushes against the walls of the arteries as it moves through the body. The systolic pressure is when your heart is contracted and is pumping blood into the body, and the diastolic pressure is the rate when the heart is resting between pumps.

When blood pressure is too high on a regular basis, it can quietly damage the organs of the body for years before symptoms develop. But, despite the apparently invisibility of stress and high blood pressure, their effects can linger throughout many life activities, including sex. Unfortunately, the biggest problem with high blood pressure is that many people who have it don’t feel it. The absence of immediate symptoms makes it easy to ignore, or stop drug treatment when side effects appear.

Sex-related side effects such as impotence and ejaculation problems in men, painful or uncomfortable intercourse, difficulty having an orgasm in women, and lack of desire in both sexes have been ascribed to virtually all classes of drugs used to control blood pressure.

For some men, the decreased blood flow makes it difficult to achieve and maintain erections often referred to as erectile dysfunction. The problem is fairly common, especially among men who are not treating their high blood pressure. Unfortunately, even a single episode of erectile dysfunction can cause anxiety. Fears that it will happen again might lead men to avoid sex  and affect relationship with their sexual partners. In some instances, the fear of having sex in some individuals with high blood pressure may cause heart attack, which on its own contributes to poor libido.

The biggest irony of the strange relationship between blood pressure and sex surfaces when you study the effect of high blood pressure medicines on sexual functioning. Some of the medicines used for treating high blood pressure can further deplete sex drive by causing erectile dysfunction.

High blood pressure’s effect on sexual problems in women isn’t well understood. But it’s possible that high blood pressure could affect a woman’s sex life. Experts are of the opinion that high blood pressure can reduce blood flow to the vagina. For some women, this leads to a decrease in sexual desire or arousal, vaginal dryness, or difficulty achieving orgasm. Improving arousal and lubrication can help. Like men, women can experience anxiety and relationship issues due to sexual dysfunction. Women should talk to their doctor if they experience these difficulties.

Nonetheless, by making healthy lifestyle choices, one can lower one’s blood pressure and potentially improve on one’s sex life. Healthy lifestyle choices include not smoking or using tobacco; eating healthy foods; reducing the amount of salt intake; losing weight, managing stress and exercising regularly.

How to Give Your Female Partner Best Orgasms

These days most women want orgasms. That wasn't always the case. A couple of generations or so ago, many adult females simply didn't have climaxes – and a lot of them weren't bothered about it. Probably a lot of them didn't actually know what an orgasm was. These days, medical opinion is that every woman should be able to have orgasms – if she wants to. Furthermore, the view of most sex experts is that the majority of women are capable of multiple orgasms – if they wish to have them. In general, the ability to have multiple orgasms is greater in more mature women.

Female orgasm?

We're writing this explanation in the assumption that you – the reader – are male. But what follows will be of interest to a lot of female readers too.

What happens in a woman's body during a climax is very like what happens in your (male) body when you ejaculate. In other words, there's a feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything 'blows' in a great blast of ecstasy.

Men are well aware that these throbs of pleasure are accompanied by the pumping out of spurts of seminal fluid. Obviously this doesn't happen in women. 

A few females do produce some fluid at orgasm, but the impression given in so many erotic stories that most women 'ejaculate' is not correct. Only a minority of females do this.

Multiple orgasm

The other big difference between male and female orgasm is this: after the first climax, many women can 'come' again, often within a minute or two. 

This ability is extremely rare in males. Relatively few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it's an ability that usually has to be learned. But with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms – if they so desire.

Bringing women to a climax

For men perhaps the most important thing to realise about female climaxes is that with women, it's not a mechanical thing – as it generally is with men. 

You see, most males will ejaculate quite quickly if they have their penises rubbed. This applies even if the circumstances aren't very romantic – or even if they don't particularly like the person who's doing the rubbing! Women are not like this. Female orgasm isn't a push-button response. The conditions have to be right.

Although females vary, many women need the following if they're going to reach a climax easily:

• a romantic atmosphere
• pleasant, comfortable surroundings
• a partner who they really like
• a feeling of being wanted and appreciated
• a good flow of natural lubrication - so that the delicate female parts don't get sore

• a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris.

Unless you can provide the above, you are not going to have great success in giving your partner orgasms. 

Please bear in mind that – contrary to what many men think – sexual intercourse by itself is not likely to produce an orgasm. This is because intercourse alone is not very good at stimulating the woman's clitoris. Nearly all females need additional stimulation of the clitoris by fingers or mouth.

Many women like much more foreplay or loveplay than men imagine. They want to feel that the man is keen on giving pleasure – and not just in a hurry to have his own climax. In fact, the worst thing a man can say to a woman is: ‘Haven’t you come yet?’ This is likely to make her feel extremely inadequate and will ruin any build-up of sexual pleasure and tension that might have been taking place.

What to do

In summary, here's what to do if you want to bring your partner to orgasm regularly:

1. Don't be in a rush.

2. Don't be too demanding – it's not an Olympic event. 

3. Talk to your partner, and ask her what she wants you to do to her.

4. Always create a romantic atmosphere. 

5. Make sure that everything is comfortable and nice for her. 

6. Give her lots of kisses and cuddles before you even think about making any approach to her sexual area.

7. When you do start to stroke, rub or kiss her genitals, don't rush into 'attacking' her clitoris. Take things gently, and see what she wants.

8. Use her own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris. (If she is over 40, it may be a good idea to use some additional lubrication from a chemist or a sex shop).

9. Remember that stimulation of the clitoris is the key to female orgasm. 

10. Sometimes encourage her to 'run' your sex sessions. You can learn a lot by watching how she stimulates herself or by really listening to her when she suggests a sex position, or a particular caress.

Bad effects of Alcohol Consumption and Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is a condition in which a man is unable to achieve an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. In some cases the man is able to achieve an erection but unable to maintain it long enough to complete the sex act. Most men experience erectile difficulties at some point in their lives, but this is different from ED.  ED has several causes and alcohol consumption can be one of them.

Alcohol Effects on the Body

Alcohol is a nervous system depressant and can actually block nerve impulses and messages between the brain and body. This is why drunk people often experience slurred speech, emotional outbursts and difficulty walking. But even small amounts of alcohol will affect the nervous system, causing slower reflexes and fuzzy thinking. Moderate drinking---one to two drinks a day, for men---of any type of alcohol, may actually improve cardiovascular health, Excessive alcohol use and alcohol abuse, can cause scarring of the liver, high blood pressure and an increased risk of some cancers.

Bad effects of alcohol

Unfortunately, the list of 'bad' effects of alcohol is much longer!

Alcohol makes people far more likely to have unwise sex with the wrong person – and therefore to get pregnant, to catch infections, and to embark on affairs that cause marriage break-ups.

Alcohol makes people fuddled, so that they don’t take proper contraceptive precautions.

Alcohol is bad for the unborn baby – so it should only be taken very sparingly in pregnancy. During 2008, there have been conflicting reports about how safe it is for pregnant women. Some authorities feel that during pregnancy it should be avoided totally. At present we don't know whether alcohol taken on the night of conception could be bad for the baby.

Alcohol is a major cause of impotence (erectile dysfunction). A lot of younger males don't realise this because they think that booze boosts 'horniness'.

A lot of men who are hooked on alcohol develop permanent 'Brewer's droop' – and often loss of interest in sex as well.

Do not yet know if excessive alcohol use can cause female sexual problems, but on the basis of probabilities it does seem likely that some cases of diminished libido are due to excessive alcohol consumption.

Alcohol Effects on Sexual Performance

Where alcohol may succeed as an aphrodisiac in getting people "in the mood" it may fail in execution. During an erection, the penis fills with blood then the vessels close, preventing back flow, so that the penis remains erect. In the short term, overconsumption of alcohol causes the blood vessels in the penis to expand, allowing for more blood flow, but prevents those vessels from closing. As a result, the penis may become erect but not remain so, as there is nothing to prevent back flow. In the long term, overconsumption of alcohol actually damages the blood vessels and contributes to hypertension and even heart disease, both contributing factors to erectile dysfunction.

Depression

Many alcoholics end up having depression as well, and that alone is seen as a cause of erectile dysfunction. Many depressed people turn to alcohol as a vice. So it is not very surprising then that alcoholics suffer from erectile dysfunction as a result of alcohol.

Remedies

If large amounts of alcohol consumption are an ongoing issue, the patient must take control of the alcohol abuse as well as the erectile dysfunction in order to fully conquer the issues. Alcoholics Anonymous is a popular way of dealing with alcohol abuse. Speak to your doctor about potential depression issues. Too much alcohol is always an unhealthy thing. It slows down the entire body leading to permanent damage. Most men would prefer to keep their sex drive strong as well as their sex organs.

Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation sometimes called impaired ejaculation  is a condition in which it takes an extended period of sexual stimulation for a man to reach sexual climax and release semen from the penis (ejaculate). Some men with delayed ejaculation are unable to ejaculate at all. 

Delayed ejaculation can be temporary or a lifelong problem. Possible causes of delayed ejaculation include certain chronic health conditions, surgeries and medications. Treatment for delayed ejaculation depends on the underlying cause. 

It's normal for men to have delayed ejaculation from time to time. Delayed ejaculation is only a problem if it's ongoing or causes stress for you or your partner. 

Symptoms

Some men with delayed ejaculation need 30 minutes or more of sexual stimulation to have an orgasm and ejaculate, or they may not be able to ejaculate at all . In the most common form of delayed ejaculation, a man can't reach orgasm during sexual intercourse  but can ejaculate with oral or manual stimulation of the penis. Some men can ejaculate only when masturbating. 

Delayed orgasm is divided into the following types based on symptoms:

• Lifelong vs. acquired. With lifelong delayed ejaculation, the problem is present from the time a male reaches sexual maturity. Acquired delayed ejaculation occurs after a period of normal sexual functioning.
  
• Generalized vs. situational. Generalized delayed ejaculation isn't limited to certain sex partners or certain kinds of stimulation. Situational delayed ejaculation occurs only under certain circumstances.

These categories help in diagnosing an underlying cause, and determining what might be the most effective treatment. 

Causes of delayed ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation can result from certain chronic health conditions, surgeries and medications. Or it may be caused by substance abuse or a mental health concern, such as depression, anxiety or stress. In many cases, delayed ejaculation is due to a combination of physical and psychological concerns.

Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:

• Certain birth defects affecting the male reproductive system
• Injury to the pelvic nerves that control orgasm
• Certain infections
• Prostate surgery, such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) or prostate removal
• Heart disease
• Prostate infection or urinary tract infection
• Neurological diseases, such as diabetic neuropathy, stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord
• Hormone-related conditions, such as low thyroid hormone (hypothyroidism) or low testosterone

Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:

• Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
• Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
• Anxiety about performance
• Cultural or religious taboos
• Differences between the reality of sex with a partner and sexual fantasies

Medications and other substances that can cause delayed ejaculation include:

• Most types of antidepressants
• Certain high blood pressure medications
• Certain diuretics
• Some antipsychotic medications
• Alcohol — particularly drinking too much (alcohol abuse or alcoholism)

For some men, a minor physical problem that causes a delay in ejaculation may cause anxiety about ejaculating during a sexual encounter. The resulting anxiety can worsen delayed ejaculation.

When to see a doctor 

Your family doctor is a good place to start when you have delayed ejaculation. See your doctor if:

• Delayed ejaculation is an issue for you or your partner
• You have another known health problem that may be linked to delayed ejaculation, or you take medications that could be causing the problem
• You have other symptoms along with delayed ejaculation that may or may not seem related.

Sex Positions

1. Leap frog: You will have to sit on your partner, who is also sitting, and let him enter you slowly. Slowly start to squat and make him lift his body up in a squat as well. Use his body to support yourself and thrust in order to increase satisfaction and reach an orgasm. Your body will be exposed to him so he can touch you as well. This increases friction and penetration, thus increasing pleasure.

2. Spooning with a difference: Lie on the bed and have him lie beside you. Lift your upper leg and pull his leg in between yours. Let him slowly enter you. To make it more exciting, let him slowly turn you around so that you are on top of him. Be careful not to put too much weight on one of his sides only. Spooning allows for deep penetration. It is also slower, compared to the other positions. This increases its excitement quotient.

3. Ballerina: Like the spooning position, you sleep beside him. Lift your top leg and hold it outstretched in the air. Allow him put his leg between yours as he enters you from behind. Again, like the spooning position, it allows for deep penetration and maximum pleasure.

4. Scissor Blade: This position is for unstoppable bulls. The man sits on the bed, legs spread. The woman sits between his legs at a 90 degree angle, so that her upper body remains between his legs. Her legs “cut” one of his from either side i.e. one of her legs will be placed above his and the other below.

5. Lap Dance: It’s simple but remains underrated. Facing her back to the man, the woman stands/sits/lounges against him, while he rests against the couch, table, bath tub, office chair.

6. Lap dance with a twist: Make your man sit on a comfortable sofa and sit on his lap facing him. With your legs straddled around his body, let him enter you. While your man leans comfortably against the sofa you can take control. Ask him to gently stroke the most sensitive areas of your body to maximise the pleasure.

7. Butterfly: Lie down at the edge of your bed or your kitchen platform and let your legs fall over the edge. Get him to kneel or stand at the edge of the bed or platform and slowly lift the small of your back as he enters you. Rest your legs on his shoulders. This is an exciting position as it lets the blood rush to your head as he enters you. 

8. Wheelbarrow: Lie face down at the edge of your bed and let him stand in between your legs. Bend them upwards and let him hold your thighs. He will enter you from behind as he stands and you remain lying down. It gives him a clear view of you, increasing his pleasure and yours.

9. Doggy style: This is definitely not one of the most passionate positions in bed. But still, guys do fantasise taking their partners on a ride through their behinds. Possibly because it makes them feel more powerful and animalistic at the same time. So, while you get on all fours, your guy kneels behind you and gets going. If your man suffers from delayed ejaculation, then this position works absolutely in his favour.

10. Twist to doggie style: Kneel and bend instead of sitting on your fours. You will have to push your lower back upwards and let him enter you from behind. The vagina expands much more and it will also expose so much more of you to him, making it more exciting. It allows for deep penetration and high satisfaction.

11. Men on top: No matter how traditional this one sounds, but this position certainly stays on the list! Though your guy may not want to do that often, you definitely induce him to take the plunge every now and then. Simply lie down on the bed with your back against it, with your legs wide open. That's enough for your man to get your 'invitation' to enter you. With him on top, you can enjoy the sensual time of your life. Keep rubbing his back – it'll provoke him to make you go crazier.

12. Missionary twist: Lie on your back and your legs spread open. Allow him enter you like in the missionary position. Slowly pull your legs ahead and let them rest on his shoulders. You could also put one leg around his body and the other over his shoulders.

13. Protect Me: This position is meant for the sensitive and shy kind. The woman faces her back to her partner, and holds his upper thighs from behind, while he holds her sides and penetrates her. A great position to enjoy stimulation and to avoid eye contact.

14. Eagle: You stand on a staircase with your legs spread wide apart. Make him stand on the stair under yours, facing you. This will make it feel like you are doing it against the wall, but you aren't really taking the support of anything. You could also entwine your legs around him if he can take your weight.

15. Face to Face: Both partners kneel on a bed, facing each other. It’s the “erect” version of the classic Missionary position, but promises more intimacy.

16. On Bended Knee: is great for the romantic and sensual kind. Also known as the Proposal position, it requires both partners to kneel on the bed facing each other. The man puts his arms around the woman’s waist to support her, while she raises one of her legs over his opposite thigh.

17. Superwoman pose: The woman faces a bed and places her hands shoulder width apart on the edge. The man holds her upper thighs and penetrates from behind.

18. Rude Rider : Instead of letting your partner take the initiative all the time, get into mode. It’s the classic woman on top seated position, while the man lies below her with some extra support — the man raises the woman, hands under her thighs.

19. Sit On Me : The man sits on a bed as though he’s sitting on an armchair. However, in this position, he is the armchair. The woman sits on him, exactly opposite, supports her hands on the bed and her legs on his shoulders.

20. Woman on Top: Taking charge is your right, and is fun. In the bed too! It not only gives you the power of control during the hot 'act', but your guy loves it too. He doesn't have to work that hard, after all! Lie him down on the bed, get on top of him, and well, you surely know what your next move will be! It's a win-win situation for both of you – you reach climax quicker, as there's less stress on your legs; and this position facilitates him a delayed orgasm.

21. Standing up: Make him stand, while you sit on a slightly higher surface. Since you are at the level of his waist, it doesn't take him much effort to penetrate you. You will be opening yourself up to him (figuratively and literally!), giving him a chance for better foreplay. Try this in the kitchen and get innovative. Grab some interesting food for the foreplay.

22. Face-play: This position allows you and your man to look deep into each other's eyes while getting intimate. Simply sit him down on a chair or on the edge of the bed. Jump onto his lap – slowly yet seductively. Let him take you by storm as he enters you. Meanwhile, place his hands on your body and guide him through the sexiest of your curves. The joy of 'being together' was never as satisfying – both of you will definitely agree with this after you've experienced this position.

23. Lap trap: This position not only promises you a heavenly time, but also endows your man with a close look at your 'thing'! Let your man be comfortable on a chair, tucking a pillow under his knees. Diving onto his lap, rest your back against his thighs, and lift up your legs. Bend your knees, placing your ankles over his shoulders. Let him take the act to the next level and enter you. Enjoy the sensual touch of his fingers on your breasts and thighs, while making him crazy with your moaning.

24. 69: A little strategy and management, and you can get this position right. But it leaves both the partners unsatisfied, as neither he nor you can enjoy the gratification that comes with love making. It becomes difficult concentrating on your own pleasure while focusing on your partner simultaneously. All said and done, few couples do indulge in the act, for they find it an extremely sexy and intimate way to turn each other on. On days you want to do something different, simply indulge in this 'act'.

How does smoking cigarettes affect sex life?

Smoking is either the cause or a risk factor for numerous physical ailments of the human body.  Male sexuality is no exception to this notion.  Luckily smoking is less of a problem than in the past because about half as many men smoke today as in the past, with even less women smoking than in the past.  However, about 24% of men still smoke and other men can be exposed to secondhand smoke, so this deadly habit still remains a health concern for men and their significant others.  Smoking is particularly relevant to teenage males because this is the period when most men and women begin a habit, often to deal with stress associated with home or school, that can last for decades to come.  Smoking interferes with all aspects of a man’s sexual health from initial attraction to sexual performance and beyond.

Smoking is a Potential Cause of Impotence
Research demonstrates that men smoking more than 20 cigarettes a day have a 60% higher risk of erectile dysfunction compared to their peers who do not smoke.  This is a substantial level of risk which should garner the attention of those who smoke on a regular basis.  For irregular smokers, 20 cigarettes a day is the same as one pack a day. According to researchers smoking can have a significant and negative effect on the ability to conceive.  The toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke can damage blood vessels leading to erectile dysfunction.  Smoking may also lead to cancer of different components of genitals which can cause impotence.  Smoking can also damage penile tissues which impact the ability of a man’s penis to function normally.

Researchers Have Shown that Smoking Can Decrease Sexual Desire and Satisfaction
Desire can be viewed as a man’s willingness to engage in sexual intercourse.  It is often more commonly described as sexual libido.  Without it, men are less interested in initiating sex or responding to their partner initiating a sexual encounter.  Satisfaction refers to a man’s feelings during and after sex.  The basic question is whether the experience met the expectations that a man had or not.  Researchers use both desire and satisfaction to assess how men feel about their sex lives.  The problem of decreased desire or satisfaction arises from the impact of smoking on the physical functioning of men.  Once they have physical problems, their desire to have sex decreases because of inability to perform as well as they would like and/or expect.  The same occurs with satisfaction.  When having sex, a man may not be able to perform normally (such as maintaining an erection for the regular amount of time) so he will not be satisfied with the experience.  If he is satisfying his partner less than before as a result of any abnormalities linked to smoking, this may also cause lower satisfaction.  For younger men, such changes in sexual performance related to smoking can make desire and satisfaction much lower than their peers.

Smoking Can Damage Smooth Muscle Inside the Penis
This “injury” can adversely affect erectile functioning.  Again, such a problem may lead to a lower libido.

Smoking May Also Affect Penis Size
According to a researcher at Boston University , this may be more of a problem for men who start smoking when they are younger as a result of damage to blood vessels and penile tissue.  Smaller penis size, especially if a man was used to a larger size before, can have numerous psychological effects on a man’s well-being further exacerbating the underlying physical problem.

Smoking Can Make Other Erectile Dysfunction Risk Factors Worse
For example, a person with high blood pressure is already at risk of having erectile dysfunction.  Smoking further increases their risk to 26 times more likely to have erectile dysfunction.